Haha Turning 50 Anthe has not evoked the same emotions as Haha nanna Maduve anthe.
Suddenly at the stroke of midnight on 19th Oct 2011 , I have been pitchforked into the category of a junior in the senior citizens category.
I am still dazed and not able to understand , how a single second can change the segmentation I belong to.
So what does turning fifty bring about , first the advantages
I can brag about as experience the learnings I have made by committing mistakes earlier . I will not call it as mistakes to the outside world, but inside I know I am committing the same mistakes day in and day out ,though I know the correct way of doing things and keep it exclusively for giving gyan to others.
If I don’t dye my hair for a few weeks , I can pass of as a real senior citizen and be able to get a seat in a local bus courtesy some young persons showing daya on me. I cam jump a Queee in any place pretending not to have looked at the queee due to my failing eye sight.
I can still be looking at young nubile things appreciatively and not get scornfull looks back. My white hairs will make me look wiser than I am .
If my wife is scolding as usual and becomes lengthy , I can pretend I have not heard most of it all . This may stop further scolding or it may be repeated by catching my ear literally.
My walking style has become straight with my held high and chest out because of a false sense of feeling that I have lot of experience behind me ( don’t ask me what type of experience). Not realizing the true fact that the experience has really left me far behind everyone.
In satsanghs , I will get great vibes from old aunties , since I will be the youngest in the oldest lot.
Now about the disadvantages which are difficult to surmount
All pretty young things , don’t give a me a second look because of my fifty look.
I am out of the rat race because no one will call for an interview a 50 year old man , I have to literally sneak in like a rat to get a forced interview.
My knees start giving jawab , if I wan’t to run behind some birds.
In any discussions in the house the gen Y will avoid me like a plague because I belong as per them to Gen X who are old fossils with lot of rusted ideas and are above the hill and not important .
My expenses on anti –ageing creams will increase and I will try to buy L’oreal Products to get a complexion and a skin matching atleast Aishwarya ‘s face if not Katrina ‘s face. Look I am being practical .
I would not delve further into any more disadvantages for I have made up my mind to chant this mantra that “FIFTY IS THE NEW FORTY “ .
Number me kya rakka hai sub aadmi ke spirit ke uppar nirbar hai. On this note Let me raise a toast on turning fifty .
Yours Uncle Padmanabh
